I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
