I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
