Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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