No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
