Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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