sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
