I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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