tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
