Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
