Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
