it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't deserve a penis
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
