I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
