Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
