love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
