gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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