Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
