worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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