I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
