To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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