It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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