i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
