That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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