god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
