i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
