let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
