I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
