i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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