we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
