i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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