Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were destined to go to rehab together
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
