Do you still have your period?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
