Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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