I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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