capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
