I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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