Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
