He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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