so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
