is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
