she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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