I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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