I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
