I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I smell stomach acid.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize