Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
