Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
