Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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