I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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