Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
