Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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