Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
